Who Does Number Two Work For?

After a fun and exhausting morning at the library, the kids and I headed over to Lisa’s house for more play time and to help out with garage sale preparations. The plan was to bake cookies for the kids to sell tomorrow at their lemonade stand, and Lisa was shocked (as were Andrea and Kelly!) to learn that I had never baked cookies from scratch. I know…. bad mom. But that prepared stuff is just so easy! Well, Lisa wasted no time putting me to work making cookies from scratch! We each had our own recipe to make, and she got me all set up. I was a little nervous, but it was actually very easy and didn’t take as much time to do as I thought it would… although I seemed to be moving in slow motion! I didn’t whip my batch out near as quickly as Lisa!

Ok, so at one point, Ian is outside playing, and Bella, Henry and I are sitting at the table, testing the cookies! I look outside and see Ian dropping his drawers and relieving himself. Right there. In Lisa’s backyard. Right next to the trampoline. Now, we live out in the country, so, it’s really never been a big deal. Actually, if the true be told, back at our old house (not in the country), right there in the front yard, Ian had always just dropped his drawers and taken care of business. No big deal. We always thought it was cute and funny and the neighbors would wave and laugh! But being at someone else’s home, with my son feeling comfortable enough to just do it …. well, I was kind of in shock for a moment. Henry and Bella see what’s going on and immediately start giggling, and Henry’s saying, “Ian PEE’D in my yard!!!!” And more giggling.

When it’s time to leave, I send Bella outside to get Ian. She comes back with Henry and they’re talking over each other. Something about IAN NEEDING TO POOP. (See Andrea… you should have stayed!) I go to the door. Ian immediately starts saying, “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!” He’s in the very back of the yard, partially behind a tree, with his shorts down around his ankles, yet again… just standing there. I’m asking him what happened, and all he’ll say is “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” I look at Bella and Henry. They tell me that he pooped outside…. But it was an accident! This time around, Kelly and Lisa are both in the kitchen with me. I truly think Lisa is going to fall on the floor, she’s laughing so hard. I’m thinking maybe she’ll be the next one to have an accident. I’m at a loss. I stress to these women that this has NEVER happened before. The peeing… yes. Pooping… no. (And please, Lord, don’t ever let it happen again!) So, I get out there, armed to scoop some poop and clean up my darling little boy, all the while thinking, maybe it really was an accident, maybe he just couldn’t make it inside. Oh. No. He did this on purpose. His reasoning was that he was in the woods. I guess being amongst a few trees in the backyard constitutes “the woods”.

So, we’re finally ready to leave. Sam (Lisa’s husband) comes home as we’re headed out the door. I fill him in on what transpired in “the woods”. As we’re walking out, Bella and Ian decide they want to buy something from the garage sale. I said, “I need to get my money from the car.” Sam says: “It’s no big deal, just pay us tomorrow… YOU ALREADY LEFT A DEPOSIT.”